DOES IT REALLY MATTER?
Let's think about it a little -
We all behave.
Some of us behave well and some of us behave badly. I think we all have the capability of doing both. We hopefully know which is which.
Imagine that on a particular day, the alarm goes off, you get up and notice right away that life seems to be fighting you. You are quickly irritated and feel your blood pressure going up. You notice that you don’t have any patience today. You aren’t sure why because these little things usually roll right off your back and on you go. But not today! You head off to work and the whole day turns out to be a mess.
Your coworkers get on the wrong side of you right off, your boss says something to you and you feel your body tense, your lips start curling back into a snarl and the hair on the back of your neck stands straight up! Someone passes you and says “good morning” very cheerfully and you nearly launch yourself out of your chair at them.
Well - you think, maybe some coffee will help you get your mind wrapped around the day a little better. You go to get some coffee but NO, it’s all gone, and so is your favorite coffee cup. Boy – somebody should have to pay for that! Maybe flogged or fired at least! You go back to your desk, sit down fuming about how inconsiderate people can be, reach for your favorite pen and there it is - your favorite coffee cup, full of hot steaming coffee! Oh, that’s right YOU already took the last cup but were so irritated that you didn’t feel like making the next pot, so you left, figuring someone else would. You sit down and remember your very recent thoughts about someone being flogged or fired, grimacing you realize that you are having a really bad day.
DO YOU KNOW WHY?
Can you pinpoint the problem? Does the issue originate with yourself or someone else? If you can identify the problem, are you able to resolve it with a positive outcome? are you able to recognize what a positive outcome could or should be? Are you able to commit to and put out the effort it will take to get that 'positive' result? Especially if the "effort" means that you have to change something within yourself? How about if it means that you need to engage with someone and have some conflict resolution in a constructive way? Are you able to? Can you handle that?
Sometimes things that happened last week, last month or even years earlier can affect how we think and behave. Many times they are things that we haven’t even picked up on yet. They can make us withdrawn, edgy, irritable, depressed, resentful or bitter if we don’t get a handle on them. Anger, resentment, depression, bitterness, those are BIGGIES that can keep any one of us from a life that’s worth living. That’s why it’s so important to be able to see inside ourselves and also to have the 'tools', or ability to do something about it.
DON’T BE A CHICKEN- GET TOUGH WITH YOURSELF!
If we will take some time to get to know what it is that gets us pumped up or takes the gas out of our thrusters, we can often identify just why we are thinking or feeling the way we are. But in order to get to that point, we have to do some serious searching around inside this little place we call our 'self'.
That’s why this part is in here, because having an intimate conversation with yourself and asking some very pointed questions can help a lot. Remember that it’s never too late to start, but you do actually have to start. Once you develop the ability, you will have a powerful tool at your disposal to not only understand yourself better, but others as well.
DON’T THINK MORE HIGHLY OF YOURSELF THAN YOU SHOULD -
BE YOUR OWN WORST CRITIC SO OTHERS WON’T HAVE TO BE!
O.K. LET’S ROLL UP THE SLEEVES AND GET STARTED!
Here are some of the criteria you need to meet in order to do this effectively.
A. Recognize the need.
Are you aware of changes, that if you made them, would make life better? No - I’m not talking about money, think about it. What can you change about yourself?
B. Genuinely want to make things different.
Don’t try to con anyone, least of all yourself. If you really don’t care, you can stop reading, the rest won’t matter.
C. Ask the right questions.
Sometimes we don’t know the right questions to ask. Well, keep reading and some possible questions will come your way.
D. Be honest with yourself, even if you don’t like what you find. After all, that’s the point!
Just like line ‘B’, if you simply aren’t willing to be honest then the rest doesn’t matter.
E. Be committed to yourself to learn new ways of doing and saying things.
Once you have identified some areas that could use work – think about what some positive solutions might be and practice them. For some like myself who are a little thicker headed, that means “DO THEM”. Stop thinking about doing them and “actually” do them. See what happens. If you will commit to trying and practicing new ways of behaving and new ways of saying things to people, you may be pleasantly surprised at the results. Give it a shot!
F. Ask for help. Sometimes we need the help of a friend or even a professional.
That’s right, none of us are an island right? How many times have you heard that? For some of us, including myself, we think we can handle EVERYTHING by ourselves. This is never true.
A KEY TO SUCCESS: Don’t overwhelm yourself.
Pick one or two things at a time, work on them and when you see success in those things, move on and pick one or two more. Eventually you will notice that life has changed. Sometimes it isn’t even the circumstances that have changed, you may simply see things differently and have enabled yourself to respond in a different way.
*Note: If you don’t need something to change in a certain area, leave it alone. Don’t try to fix it if it isn’t broken. Just because we all have things we can work on doesn’t necessarily mean that everything in our lives is that way. Again be honest with yourself but also give yourself a break.
OK. I told you there would be some questions coming, see if these help.
Questions you could ask YOURSELF: (remember – no honesty no change)
• Am I a patient person?
• Am I an angry person?
• Do I get irritated easily?
• Do I expect perfection from myself or others?
• Do I worry about what others think of me?
• Am I a critical person?
• Am I a moody person?
• Am I a neat freak?
• Am I a slob?
• Am I a gossip?
• Am I honest?
• Are other people beneath me?
• Do I want to change?
• Do I care enough to see change through?
• Do I care about how other people feel?
• Do I expect people to read my mind?
• Would others say that I am condescending?
• Do I know how to be honest with myself?
• Am I willing to stand up for what is right, even if I stand alone?
• Am I willing to lose my job rather than compromise legal or moral issues?
• Do I make allowances for other people’s faults?
• Do I give grace, or want revenge?
• Would others say I always have to be right? Or always have the last word?
• Am I more special than others?
• Do I always need to be right?
• Do I know how to submit to authority?
• Do I need to fix the world?
Those questions listed above are just some of the things you can ask yourself. You know your own situation and you probably already know the most appropriate ones to consider. There may even be other questions you can ask and they will all help you figure out what kind of person you are. You then just have to ask yourself if that's the kind of person you want to be. The answer will help determine your path. Believe me I know well that the path to change can be a difficult one, however it truly is worth the effort.
Along those same lines of questioning you can keep going to see where you would fit best in the building industry.
• Am I punctual or habitually late?
• Do I mind getting dirty?
• Do I prefer to be in an office or in the field?
• Do I need to get a higher education?
• Do I like wearing a suit or blue jeans?
• Am I creative?
• How do I handle failure?
• Do I mind working in the rain or snow?
• Do I like working with power tools?
• Am I better than the boss?
• Do I play well with others?
• Do I handle rejection well?
• Do I like taking risks? How big?
• Do I like rigid schedules or flexibility?
• Am I an early bird or a night owl?
• Do I trust others?
• Am I afraid of confrontation?
• Am I passive aggressive?
• Am I good at math?
• Do I like sitting in meetings?
• Do I like to help people learn?
• Do I think that an apology makes a person look weak?
• Do I want to see others succeed?
Again, those are just some of the questions that you could ask. Match your work to your personality and you will enjoy your working life more.
I believe that if a person will learn to do these things in their own personal lives, they are the kind of people who have a desire to make a positive difference wherever they are.
SO FINALLY -
WHAT DOES GETTING TO KNOW YOURSELF MEAN FOR A CRAFTSMAN?
Simple - you will then know your strengths and weaknesses, and when you have those abilities and know how to capitalize on your strengths and strengthen your weak areas, you are a great asset to an employer or customer. I believe that these abilities can give you an edge. Why? because people are desperate for craftsmen who will be honest with them and who actually have the skills they say they do so that the job can be done well. They want to be treated with respect. Let's face it, if you care enough to evaluate yourself honestly and make the necessary changes in your life to be personally successful, that will come through loud and clear to those you work for and with.
Let me ask you this. If you had a boss who knew how to do these things; be calm (even when upset), patient, honest, knew how to listen well, showed that he or she appreciated you, made allowances for your mistakes, communicated well so that you always knew where they stood and you felt like they had your back and genuinely cared about you as a person, WOW – wouldn’t that be someone you could work for?
WELL – let’s turn that around. If you were a customer or a boss, wouldn’t you like to have a contractor or employee like that?
I think we all know the answer. If you will answer the questions above honestly, then use those answers to implement positive solutions, you will be on a better track to career success and success in life. You will have the trust and respect of most of those you work for or with. That's how this all applies to the craftsman.
If you would like to see how I started, you can read it at "My Early Days"